Under normal circumstances, I try not to engage in discussions that are overly touchy. In light of recent events, I feel like it's necessary to discuss a topic that is close to home for me: homosexuality and the parental reactions that I have witnessed in regards to their gay children.
When I came out to my parents, I left my mom a letter on her computer desk that I gave her permission to pass on to my dad. My mom was immediately accepting, and my dad took a couple of weeks to digest the information. Both of them were just fine with the fact that I'm attracted to fellow females. In my immediate family, it's never been an issue. Rather, it's been a source of many entertaining jokes, intriguing questions, and beautiful displays of acceptance from people such as my maternal grandfather. However, from the stories that I have heard from my peers at my school's Gay-Straight Alliance, that is rarely the case where I live.
I have heard stories of my fellow LGBTQ peers that range anywhere from their parents outright rejecting them to their parents ignoring their child's identity and living in denial. I have a friend who was put through "reparative therapy" at the urging of her grandfather and her parents' friends and coworkers. To the surprise of no one, these people are Catholic, and for the most part, they aren't terrible people. They simply have skewed beliefs and that led to immoral actions against their daughter.
It sickens me to think that there are so many LGBTQ teenagers out there who feel rejected or actually are rejected by their parents because of who they are. Rejection isn't just saying that they're disowned because they're bisexual. Rejection also comes in the form of their parents not using their preferred name and pronouns. It comes in the form of never acknowledging romantic partners as anything but their close friends. I really feel for the kids who have to live through this, because it's not fair to them that I live with people who love me no matter the gender of the person I may end up marrying and they are forced to live in a toxic, homophobic environment. I want to take these kids in and hug them and give them the love that they deserve. They are my favorite people, because they are just so brave for being themselves through adversity.
Parents, I plead with you: love your children unconditionally. Don't limit your love to your heterosexual, cisgender children who fit their traditional gender roles. Give them the love that they deserve and need from you.
On that same note, kids and teenagers: work with your parents on their biases. Help them to grow and evolve from their adherence to societal norms. Inspire them to change. If you respect them and their beliefs, sooner or later, they'll respect you and your beliefs.
~ Madame Jellyfish
Agreed. Protesting is all well and good for the militantly stubborn, but sometimes mutual respect is all that's really needed to move on from an issue. And honestly, isn't that what free speech is all about? You have the right to your opinion, that doesn't mean everybody has to agree with you.
ReplyDeleteSame goes for this. Your kids can be whatever they want to be, within reason. Is it putting their life or livelihood in danger? No? Then guide and support them. Yes? Then help them realize why what they're doing is wrong and let them move on themselves.